I know what you’re thinking. Stop living in fairytale land. Teachers are expected to work 60-70 hrs per week. We will always be stressed! That comes with the territory right?
I’ve been a Christian my whole life and yet for the longest time at the start of my teaching career I struggled to find the peace that Jesus promised in my job. I couldn’t find a way out from working 60-70 hr weeks and no matter how much I prayed or sought pastoral help, I never felt free. I struggled to have peace. I would say things like this to myself to justify my lack of contentment:
“You could work all week and never finish everything that’s required of you. That’s my sacrifice.”
“Teaching is my calling – am I not meant to be the hardest worker doing the most hours to demonstrate Jesus?”
“What about the verse that says ‘don’t do it just when your master’s eyes are on you, but do it as unto the Lord’?”
As a teacher, there is constant pressure from SLT, parents & Education Bodies increasing standards and responsibilities.
The emergence of AI in education has promised to slash work hours for teachers but in reality this is an empty promise. It will only provide temporary relief. That time will get refilled again. Either by more responsibility heaped onto teachers or from our misguided belief that we need to be on our knees in exhaustion to have “done our job properly”.
Let’s have a reality check here. There is no world that exists where expectations will be reduced – despite all the hard work of Teacher Unions & Working Time Agreements.
Waiting in hope for policies to change & expectations from above to reduce so that you can experience freedom is like waiting for Spurs to win a League Title. It might happen once in a lifetime, but it’s not gonna stay like that. (I’m a Spurs fan so I can say this with full confidence).
If you want to live relaxed, you will need to do something different. And that starts by taking an uncomfortable look at what is happening inside of you.
The Magic Pill: What’s driving me over the edge?
Imagine you had a magic pill that could solve all your problems in one gulp. What’s the gulp?
Finding out the answer to the question…
“What is driving me over the edge?”
Why do I feel like I NEED to reply to that weekend parent seesaw message?
Why do I feel I NEED to nail that lesson observation?
Why do I feel like I NEED to work every weekend to stay on top of things?
Why do I feel I NEED to have every detail under control before Monday morning?
Why do I think I NEED to work 60 hours a week to be a good teacher?
Ultimately even if AI could save you 10 hours a week, you know that you would end up filling those hours with other stuff to do.
The magic pill takes you beyond the external pressures on us as teachers and gets us to look at what’s driving us internally to continue these exhausting work patterns.
The magic pill deals with what is happening between your ears and in your soul.
It deals with how you think.
How you internalise what is being “required” of you.
It’s how you determine if you are a good teacher or even a good person.
How you interpret how Jesus called us to live.
Ultimately we can point the finger of blame at Government initiatives and Inspection requirements (and rightly so) but if you never look inside yourself at what is driving you, you will always be at the mercy of the powers that be.
You will never experience the freedom that Jesus promised you.
I’ve found that nearly all teachers meet one or all of the following personality traits that leads them to a place of burnout:
- Perfectionist: You can’t handle not getting everything done the right way. If I don’t, I’m not being diligent and something bad might go wrong and it will be my fault. It might even get me sacked and then I can’t provide for my family. I need to nail it. EVERY time.
- People-Pleaser: You can’t cope with someone not being happy with you. Am I not meant to live at peace with everyone? Turn the other cheek?
- Avoid Confrontation: It’s easier to just give in than stand your ground. Isn’t that being meek and mild?
- Rule follower: Maybe we are meant to do all the things the government tell us to do? The Bible says to obey the governments in power didn’t he? I shouldn’t be divisive or disruptive.
- Ignore Self Care: Am I not meant to give my absolute everything to the kids no matter the cost to me? Isn’t that my sacrifice?
- Hyper Self-critical: The slightest suggestion of negative feedback leads you to question your entire competency as a teacher. “I’m useless and I’ll never be good enough.”
The problem is, none of these ways of being is actually Christlike. They might seem to be or give the appearance of being Christlike, but under the surface it is simply us relying on our own understanding. In fact, they take us away from the way that Jesus has called us to live. They steal our joy. Our peace. Our health. It takes us away from our kids and our spouses. Even stopping us from serving in our churches. If the way you are working is taking you away from your family, friends, church community, prayer life and general healthy routines (exercise, eating healthily, sleeping 8 hrs a night), then I would suggest that this is not how Christ intended you to live. It is unhealthy and you can make a change.
Let me put it this way. God is the master of time. So he has definitely given you enough time to do the things HE has actually asked you to do. If you are overwhelmed, overworked and exhausted, I’d suggest there’s some things you are doing that HE hasn’t asked you to do.
Taking the Magic Pill: Finding out what is really driving you.
I want to share with you a really simple but effective exercise to really dig down deep into what is driving your unhealthy patterns of behaviour when it comes to how you approach your teaching job.
It’s called the ‘5 Whys’.
And just like it says on the tin, whenever you encounter one of those uncomfortable, stress-inducing situations, you ask yourself “Why?” five times.
It looks like this:
Problem: “That parent” has emailed you with an obnoxious email on a Saturday.
- Why do I feel like I need to reply to this email on the weekend?
Answer: Because this parent can make my life hell so it’s easier to just reply now.
- Why will this make my life easier?
Answer: Because it means this parent won’t get angry at me.
- Why does it matter if this parent gets angry at me?
Answer: Because I’m not very good at confrontation and it stresses me out.
- Why does confrontation stress me out?
Answer: Because I’m scared of upsetting people.
- Why do I not like upsetting people?
Answer: Because when I was a child, my dad would get really angry at me for doing the wrong thing so I learned to just try and keep him happy.
Great, now you have established that the problem isn’t really the email, but that it’s triggered something deeper, you can start taking the real issue to Jesus. First, to move beyond this point face the fear of what might happen in the worst case scenario. Tell Jesus:
- What is the worst thing that could happen if I don’t reply to this email right now?
Picture it. Feel it. The WORST thing. Tell him in as much detail as you can. (This is called ‘fear-setting’ and it helps you distinguish what is a legitimate fear and what is your pre-frontal lobe going into overdrive.)
- Tell Jesus what you are most afraid of and what you are feeling right now.
Simply tell him. Tell him that you are scared of upsetting this parent and all that would unleash. Tell him how not replying makes you feel. Tell him that you don’t want to live like this. And just like he promises, he will remove the heavy burden and help you find rest in this by showing you that you don’t need to be afraid of an angry parent when He is with you.
Now ask yourself – is the worst case scenario really THAT bad? If that worst thing happened, would you be okay? Would you survive? YES! Of course you would! And now let’s get rational. What is the most likely outcome? Most of the time it’s nowhere near as bad as we fear and often it actually ends up being a great outcome!
Let’s go back to the snotty weekend parent email example from above.
The WORST thing that could happen is this parent is annoyed with you. Maybe sends another email. Maybe they don’t get you a gift at the end of the year. Can they sue you? No. Can they get you sacked? Nope.
Will you survive another email? Yes. But you won’t survive continuing to compromise your boundaries because you THINK that this will keep them happy. That will burn you out and leave you in a resentful, broken mess.
The more rational outcome is that this parent actually will have more respect for you. Understands that you have boundaries & that you’re not gonna get pushed around and be at their beck and call. That’s a VERY GOOD outcome and one I’ve experienced many times. Strong people respond well to strong people. They admire it. Respect it.
- Now make the best decision from a rational, calm place.
Once you have gone through these steps, you should be feeling much more rational and grounded. And you will also know (deep down) what is the best decision to make. Not the compromising decision. Not the one that continues unhealthy patterns. But the one that is actually for the best.
In our snotty parent weekend email example, the decision can be as simple as switching off your email notifications (good practice anyway for weekends & holidays!) and deciding that you will reply on Monday. Or if you need to take smaller steps, drafting an email reply but then scheduling it to be sent on Monday. Either way, DO NOT reply on the weekend! That is a slippery slope that will be hard to climb back up.
The ‘5 Whys’ shows you what is really driving you to work the way you do, so that you can take it to Jesus and actually have him show you how to live free and relaxed without fear of the consequences.
By David Wright | Mr Wright Teaching
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